Hello Cah,
I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that you sound like you already know what you should do, or want to do. You deserve to have someone who will love you the way you need to be loved. The loss of self esteem you've suffered over the years will be very difficult to replace. You have to understand that his decision of forced celibacy, was his decision. For whatever reason he decided to do it, those were his reasons, not yours. Allowing you to ask over and over, and still not seeing your side of things. In many ways what he did was very selfish. I understand that it's not easy to express emotion, but not having sex should have never meant losing the love, affection and closeness. Maybe he's afraid of losing you now, in fact that seems quite obvious, but there's something (that your not saying) that showed you that it's possible the excuses of the past 14 years were a lie. He never wanted to talk about marriage but now it's important to propose? The only thing you have to decide now is if it's just too late.
I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.
Warmly
Chase
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