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Psych Sibling Question

Sent to Relationship Experts August 14 2006 at 12:32 PM
   

I have a psychological question...

I've been seeing a girl for a number of months now; she is a very beautiful, smart, independent, strong, passionate, opinionated, and engaging person. She has not had a sexual relationship with a guy in a few years (she's 25, odd, I know), but she dresses and gives the appearance of someone who is sexually active. She is very sexy, you could say.

However, she seems overly close to her friends (mostly girls, and they are inseparable--She never entertains a man's advance in a bar, for instance) and her older brother, who she frequently lavishes with compliments, and goes out of her way to note that he is her "favorite person in the world." This is all while talking to me (ie. Not in his presence, although I don't know what she would say to him directly). She discusses him so much that I started feeling that he, her biological brother, is my main competition. In the last month, she I am fascinated by this. Suffice to say, it is getting a little creepy at this point.

My question: Is there a condition in which a person is obsessed with a sibling and doesn't know it? What are the chances that this girl is a gay, perhaps?

 

Customer (name blocked for privacy)
Status:  Closed   Value: $10
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August 14 2006 at 12:43 PM (10 minutes and 59 seconds later)
         
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Hi,

Believe it or not this is quite common. Unfortunately figuring out why she s obsessed with her brother is a different story. She may simply feel that her brother is the greatest guy in the world and wants future mates to know that she expects her man to be as great as her brother is. It may very well be a non sexual obsession.

As for her friends that is another maybe, some women find there friends to be the best company in the world and simply will not place a man before her friends. Whither she is gay or not only she can answer.

I would recommend sitting down and talking to her about it and letting her know that it makes you uncomfortable when she speaks of her brother all the time. As for her friends if you are truly concerned I would recommend point blank asking her. Simply let her know that you are not saying she is, but that you were curious because of the bond she shares with them. As for the bar advances believe it or not this is common as well, many women will not accept a mans advances at a bar as it really is not a good place to find the kind of man a women wishes to date.

In the end it is better to get these things out in the open early on so if there is a major problem it can be addressed and dealt with before it becomes a deal breaker. As for her brother many children grow up and share a bond that is unbreakable so if this is the case you may simply have to either deal with it or walk away if your discussion brings about no change.

I wish you the best, if you need anything please let me know.

Melissa



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August 14 2006 at 12:49 PM (6 minutes and 24 seconds later)
         
Reply to Melissa's Post: Could it be a fear of intimacy? I feel that we connect on almost every level, but the bedroom is something I do not bring up, period. And I do not find it normal for this specific person--whose friends are all very sexually active and open about it--who dresses a certain way and acts a certain way, to not have had sex in 2 or 3 years.
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August 14 2006 at 12:58 PM (9 minutes and 20 seconds later)
         
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